Suprise

Well last night i had a work meeting.. of which i generally hate.. and... well Poacher came to visit me.. how cool is that..??? :)

Tissues

Once upon a time i got some left over australia day bags from McDonalds.... which i strategically gave to my family... in which there were tissues...
Four months later mum was out walking her pamphlet round and called into Nana's cause her nose was running and Nana gave her a pack of tissues saying that these were the ones Angela gave us.. and mum blew her nose and left them in her car.... 7 months later Mum, Sarah and myself are out on a round and our noses are once again running...
This is where the pack of tissues and its ongoing relationship with the Haggas' end...

Out on this pamphlet round... we all got wet... and the car broke down... Pamphlet rounds can be dangerous ventures..

Turmoil

First of all... work is great..!! and that is rare and IM LOVING IT ... again.. yeah..

Secoundly on fri night was Sarah's 18th birthday party... now there is lots and lots i want to say about it ... but a lot I cant say cause i could upset/ insult people or just isnt appropriate.... there are things i am angry about...

I ended up spending a lot of the party with Zac... For all you who dont know Zac was my first ever boyfriend... It suprises me endlessly how someone you havent really hung out with in six yrs can know you so well... and how is it that someone whom you dont really know so well anymore you can love so much...?
And why do i find myself replaying what was said so many times...
ANd wanting to talk/??
ANd why does that make me wanna not ever speak to him again?
And why does it feel like it could break my heart all over again.. but i feel insanely pulled to explore...
hmmmmm i am sure that this post will be deleted by me within 24hrs... lol.. cause i shouldnt write about this over the net

But it was a night to remember.. cops.. ambulance...
bruises...
hahaha write tomorrow when i delete this one

Butterflies

So to fall in lust...
i would say i do that fairly often yeah??? so the question is who is the latest culprit...??? and he has this habit of making me blush... how embarrassing??? yeah???

Today he came and visited me at maccas... i liked that.. yeah you guys why arent you visiting me a maccas more??? hmmmm????

Anyways... i want to see him this weekend so lets hope i do...
Tomorrow is Sarahs party... and im pretty pumped about it.. im scared.. and excited.. and today is her birthday so
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY SIS>>>>>>>
and sat night.... well i dont want to say im free or you guys will all book me up....:S so lets just leave it open atm... i might need to recover.... or there might be a boy who wants to make me blush....
and NEXT FRI BUTTERFINGERS....
And maybe just maybe there might be the chance of me moving... ???!!! maybe...
Last night i went to Bar One Twenty.. with Tom... and it was fun... as life is with tom.... and .. well..
OHH!~!! i just remembered i have Aunty Jans birthday on Sat night.. so im not free.. damn it....

What I Want

What i want....

First of all to travel... i want to go soon.. once my debt is paid off...
Secound of all... I dont want to live my whole life stressed... i want to spend it with my friends and family.. I love the pple in my life and want to spend time with them...
Thirdly... i want to be spontaneous again... remember those random walks and things we all did which i dont have time for anymore.. well I want that.,..
Fourthly i want to be fit.. or fitter.... i like that ive lost weight and id like to lose more... not too much.. but a little...
I want to have time to create in my life.. like paint again.. random stuff again.. i feel like ive lost who am by being busy all the time...

my life seems to be sleep and work and stress. and then getting drunk to forget.. IM NOT that type of person.. so from here on it.. im gonna create.....
oh and im missing you LIZ,,,,
ANd im sorry Adam.. i do want to hang out... i really do.. im not just avoiding you...:S My life does really seem to be always doing something and being somewhere and being responsible i cant do everything i want to do....

Bacardi

Last night i spent the night at Toms... IN MY PART OF THE BED>>> :S... hahah and we looked at mail order brides... and scared a few more gullible pple on the net... and now it is 530am and im feeling pretty seedy really... Im pretty sure i vomited:S/.///

My tolerance for alcohol has been severly lowered from my time with Chris.. and i would put that down too him always being off his head.. maybe.. or me trying to fit too much into my life....

So altho i havent got anything profound to say i do think that at some point in the near future i am actually ready to have a bf,
But i need someone crazy... someone who is as much fun as they are intelligent and someone who can both party and be successful... and i want someone who will have me travel...

So the only other thing i can think off that i want to say is my sleeping pattern sucks...
Mon night is not always the best night to go get drunk but i want to say tom... you are my only monday night drunk buddie and i love ya!!!!
Life... or what pple percieve as life which is in fact only part of the whole picture can sometimes be taken way to seriously... humans spend way to much time and money trying to be something, get somewhere and then resist the whole game that they spend there time creating... coincidently the truth becomes lost in this game. The fact of the matter seems to be that we will all die... at some point... altho i have also heard some theories that differ to this point and am remembering a book about a lady who wasnt gonna die and had scientific studies on her who two yrs later got hit by an oncoming car... altho i did find her work of the utmost interest and suggest that pple read it.... she is now dead.... :S
Im sure that working right now is the right thing to do....

Bacardi

Last night i spent the night at Toms... IN MY PART OF THE BED>>> :S... hahah and we looked at mail order brides... and scared a few more gullible pple on the net... and now it is 530am and im feeling pretty seedy really... Im pretty sure i vomited:S/.///

My tolerance for alcohol has been severly lowered from my time with Chris.. and i would put that down too him always being off his head.. maybe.. or me trying to fit too much into my life....

So altho i havent got anything profound to say i do think that at some point in the near future i am actually ready to have a bf,
But i need someone crazy... someone who is as much fun as they are intelligent and someone who can both party and be successful... and i want someone who will have me travel...

So the only other thing i can think off that i want to say is my sleeping pattern sucks...
Mon night is not always the best night to go get drunk but i want to say tom... you are my only monday night drunk buddie and i love ya!!!!
Life... or what pple percieve as life which is in fact only part of the whole picture can sometimes be taken way to seriously... humans spend way to much time and money trying to be something, get somewhere and then resist the whole game that they spend there time creating... coincidently the truth becomes lost in this game. The fact of the matter seems to be that we will all die... at some point... altho i have also heard some theories that differ to this point and am remembering a book about a lady who wasnt gonna die and had scientific studies on her who two yrs later got hit by an oncoming car... altho i did find her work of the utmost interest and suggest that pple read it.... she is now dead.... :S
Im sure that working right now is the right thing to do....

Conversation with Antony

Wanting some excitement
Craving the unknown
Temptation is at every door
When door knocking on your own

Scared of the rejection
Frightened of the past
Sure that whatever you might find
Cannot, willnot last...

Yearning to be intimate
Cuddles, kisses, love
Someone there to partner you
Conversations, Fun and trust

Can we ever find this
Or will I live with pieces...
Will we find the real thing
Or will it just be teasers....

Angela Haggas

Hitchhikers Guide

My weekend WENT OFF... lol..:)

Ive been reading the hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy... Im on the third book of the trilogy in which there are five....:S and i must say it is the most stimulating and amazing load of nonsense I Have EVER EVER read,.,, and i love it....

My faviourite part so far is the part about the person who rules the universe.. now what is so special about him is that he doesnt know that he rules the universe and is much more interested in his cat and its existence than anything else... and when asked about war and such .... he doesnt see all those pple dying... ill have to clarify the actual passage but it was similar to the "if a tree falls in a forest and nooone is around for it to make a sound... does it" philosophy...

I love the book..

I spend fri and sat night out in northbridge... I danced... I got to spend some time with Poacher... he is FANTASTIc... lol... and i think im getting an appreciation for cuddling i never had... and i embarrassed myself sooo bad by wanting to eat braise steak and onions....:(

And i saw Jayne..:) yeah. .and we danced to OUR song.. and i got to hang out with Sal and JOn and my sis Sarah, Peter, Dan ( petes house mate), Tom, Jo, Gary and Jen.. so what a weekend.....?? and next week Sarah turns 18... and then Jo turns 17 and BUTTERFINGERS...

New clothes.

I got some new clothes... and i like how I look.. ever been clothes shopping with a girl girl couple.. now that my friends is an experience.. but im sure i look good:)

Got the weekend off so i just SOOO wanna get smashed... :)
and tomorrow night shall be awesome too... anyways.. after no sleep im gonna go and party:)

Tired

I just want to say im shit scared of tomorrow night being dissapointing.. or even worse.. being awesome and then things not being that all the time...
I love meeting new pple and then hate the dissapointment..
Or i hate that you can become friends with someone and be amazed by them and then it leaves ya..
but at the same time i want it to happen...
ahhh.. anyways... im sooooo tired and i cant wait to sleep so off to sleep i go..

Attached

As i was sitting on my chair
I knew the bottom wasnt there
Nor sides nor back, But still i sat
Ignoring Little things like that

this could well be the mantra for my life....

today i slept... A LOT.. and it was a dead sleep... one which i thank the heavens i got...
i miss closes .. they are motivating...
i miss the young crew and the challenge...

Once upon a time in a far away land ... one you cant reach unless you are wearing gum boots there lived a girl whose name has been forgotten in the retelling of the story...
and she wasnt so brilliant at maths.. but she was good and doing stuff.. now you may ask what type of stuff she was good at doing... and to answer that question you would have to know her well cause when you met her she was prolly just like every other female you may have met.... :P or maybe she wasnt..

It is time for ang to sleep... goodnight

Integrity...

I have none.. and that is that...

umm.... Gary my friends are always always welcome where i am:P and so ill see you fri...

im still recovering from this fri....

H is still talking ot me.. which is positive.. altho i am worried ive lost Dan for good...:S

As for work.. well it is work... Butterfingers ... FigJam
'Couldnt give a shit about your corprate hieghrachy"
well i do..
Maccas is who i am.. on so many levels.. in the sense of manager... and where i spend most of my time... im just annoyed... and frustrated that things have to be so god damn hard sometimes.. i think sometimes they dont want us to succeed.. and maybe they dont... maybe it is the striving they want...
I want to say something on here... and maybe the right person will get it...
Just cause i like you doesnt count you as a friend. Im picky on who i call friends... i havent got enough time to be adding more to my list... but just cause your not my friend doesnt mean i dont like you... or that one day we might be friends...
And if you didnt get invited to my party for my bday.. that also doesnt mean much.. i just invited who asked me what i was doing for my bday.. with the exception of Jeevan and now Chris only really pple i would call close friends came... i would even go as far to say is most my best friends came and a few close friends..... pple who potentially will and could be closer to me...
and off i go to work...

Fri Night

Fri night was awesome....

Went out with Dan for his and my Birthday and also went with Gary... Gary i love going out with you... your the bomb...

Saw H... which was interesting... got really really drunk which was fun... and met an amazing young man by the name of Matt... and all i can say is i have a lot to learn.. and I LOVE being single...

Fri night showed me one thing...

Im glad it is over with Chris... my heart was in the wrong place there.. and there are pple who can match me..:P ..................

But everyone is amazing when your drunk...

Gonna go out next fri with Jen... to the rise... so i hope i meet that guy i met on fri.. without Brooke.. or whoever she was:)

Off to work i go

Balance

Wanting wishing hoping
that the hate will go away
that i never cared enough
to feel this way for long

i dont know what im looking for
im clear it was never you
Im clear i had a lot more fun
Before there was us

And maybe
just maybe
it was the idea
not the actual reality
that I was liking....

The only regret i have
is your friends will get the lies...
theyll never know what really happened
They'll never see the truth about you...

And i thought you were worth my time...

Hurt

So Chris and I broke up... and im hurt... im angry... and im hurt and I killed any chance of us being friends....
and i feel crazy....
i want to say a few things online

i know alot of you didnt like him... but i did... i still do in fact... and i didnt want it to be this way...
i know he did a lot of things that were unacceptable... i know he had no relationship with his word... and therefore him and i were never gonna work.. I know that.. and he was right in doing what he did but i cared enough that that didnt matter.
And if you all want to know what brought on this convo... well.. his parents found out we were having sex... hahahaha and the whole him asking to have a threesome with Isobel and myself going loopy about it... i guess it is best for me to say any boy who wants to have a threesome with his best friend and girlfriend there is something wrong... well at least isnt cut out to be in a relationship with...
I want to hate him.. it would be easier in fact... but i guess what i need to be responsible for was that he was right.. we were not gonna work... i knew that and ignored it.. cause sometimes the moment is more important than forever...
maybe that aint the truth...
and i guess it aint me to accept being stood up... or a boy not honoring our relationship... or our relationship being hidden from someones parents... if i want a sex buddie they aint hard to find...
i shoulda kept it at that...
So my integrity is out... i made it a bad breakup ... it isnt what i was committed too... OHHHWELL

Resistance

Dear Tim,

IT s been over a yr and the effect of our relationship is still in full force... maybe more so now in the way it is subconsious and im in a relationship. I find myself hating you more and then hating myself cause i know i wouldnt have done the whole thing any other way even knowing what i do now... and they do say love is blind. Im gonna try not to let what happened between us kill this... or kill my future relationships... but it is so damn hard to trust pple when you know the only person youve ever loved like i loved you lied like the devil to me... and i guess in that sense what happened between your parents.. or whatever had you not trust pple is like a disease that ive caught.... and i can either foster it with love and spread it.. or kill it off knowing that the opportunity to catch that disease im sure will come again...

I will find a way to kill it.

Im sure that is all i want to say to you right now...
Love Ang

I met a man that wasnt there....

He wasnt there again today.....

I wish....
I wish...
He'd go away....

No gossip really... im feeling calm... and i saw Carls yesterday and had a big cry.. cheers for that... and i woke up today feeling like i could chose whether or not to be in my relationship for the first time...
and i like that power....:)
So Jeeven Trent and Chris are coming to visit me tonight.... and i GET TO SEE SAL>>>>> yay..
i wish i had somethign interesting to say....

Im am a course supervisor at landmark...

YOu know what id really LOVE right now.. a long long long bath with gels and nice smells...

Honor

First of all i thought it had honor to delete the last post... altho i do believe the pple deserve what they get i also think that maybe letting my anger loose right now would not be in my best interest and i could loose someone whom i care about....

So what is new...
Im not marrying Bhodi:(
Well not at this point in time...

I am 24:) yay.. well was last thurs....

And what i did for my bday was invite pple around who remembered it and asked what i was doing... it turned out to be a rather late and amusing night. one of which i havent yet shaken the sniffles....

I got some beautiful and awesome presents... so thankyou to all those who bought me presents... i feel loved:)
So to sum up the night... well i saw the true side of a friend which i hadnt seen... and it shocked me... well not shocked but changed my view point on them...
Another friend of mine was rather emotional and finally i found i had no anger towards them... and loved them again...:) and i finally get their logic.... and i danced to Pendulum with Jeevan and Tom in my lounge room.. All in all it was a awesome night with the right mix of gossip and the social mixing... Im getting more sure i should have some sort of party soon and invite everyone... i miss my parties.. but so much money and sooo muc h organising.. Peh... Oh and another of my friends made me proud with their unrecognized ability to see where i was coming from....
Fri night i had my family over and it was a good night and Mum and Dad said i provided a good atmosphere and I was a good hostess... who woulda thought/??
Sat I spent with Chris. And i cant remember wht we did.. oh we went and played pool... and sun night I FINALLY FINALLY got to spend time with Tom... and it was an awesome night... i enjoyed myself immensly even tho i had major issues staying awake....

So your up to date....