Turmoil

First of all... work is great..!! and that is rare and IM LOVING IT ... again.. yeah..

Secoundly on fri night was Sarah's 18th birthday party... now there is lots and lots i want to say about it ... but a lot I cant say cause i could upset/ insult people or just isnt appropriate.... there are things i am angry about...

I ended up spending a lot of the party with Zac... For all you who dont know Zac was my first ever boyfriend... It suprises me endlessly how someone you havent really hung out with in six yrs can know you so well... and how is it that someone whom you dont really know so well anymore you can love so much...?
And why do i find myself replaying what was said so many times...
ANd wanting to talk/??
ANd why does that make me wanna not ever speak to him again?
And why does it feel like it could break my heart all over again.. but i feel insanely pulled to explore...
hmmmmm i am sure that this post will be deleted by me within 24hrs... lol.. cause i shouldnt write about this over the net

But it was a night to remember.. cops.. ambulance...
bruises...
hahaha write tomorrow when i delete this one