Ten things

So my last couple of days have been a bit of a rollercoaster... i didnt have the three days off.. I worked fri open.. and i got to see a lot of Chris.. which has been nice... Today i walked my round.. and Paula invited me around and i had dinner with their family.. which was awesome.. i havent seen them in like a yr.. so it was a real suprise and pleasure... I am still sick and i think im getting worse.. which sucks.. but maybe i need to look after myself more.. Peter came over the other day looking for chloromon with Zac... that was exciting....
So a couple of months ago Tom put ten things he wanted to say to pple but he didnt on his website.. so i thought id copy and do it also....

1. I forgot it was a game... "Dont play with a player or youll get played"... fair bump... play on....

2. I cant explain why i cant connect with you... i dont even want too... I like you but im not interested in knowing you any better than i do... im sorry cause i know your trying.. and i know you care.. but i just dont... and i cant explain why...

3. Life is short... enjoy it.. cause it will be gone before you have the chance to have your dreams come true... or you will be too old to enjoy it... i ache for the amount of joy you miss out on.. but only you can bring yourself joy... and i cant create it for you....

4. You mean so much to me .. and ive come so close to you over the last couple of yrs... I thank you for your constant love.. your undying love.. your stand.. the way you always are looking at it from my point of view... You really are a precious gem in my life that i couldnt replace if you left.. and i want you to know.. that altho you arent in perth.. these moments are worth their weight in gold to me.. thankyou for trusting me.. thankyou for your friendship

5. I always resist talking to you... i want you to know that means nothing about you.. You really are someone i love and trust.. and im sure i resist that the most... All i want you to know is ... you make the biggest difference when i talk to you .. and i do trust you with all my heart...

6. I'm confused... I love what we have.. it is precious... i mean that in a way i cant even explain to you ever... and i never wanna lose that.. i know you know that.. im clear.. but I need you to know i dont feel this way about anyone...

Maybe ill do the last 4 on contemplation.... hahah so stay tuned and ill update tomorrow or tues.. prolly tues cause im sooo tired. and have sooo much to do tomorrow..........arrhhh.. lol...........:)

In other news.. i didnt get the house.. someone bought is before i had the chance to organise finance.. on a bright note i coulda bought it.. and the next week is gonna be real busy again... nasty.... cause we got made for you!!! which will be DA BOMB>>>> and a pain in the bottom...
Ohh and next week lisa is in Perth... and so is Dan.. welcome back ot the both of you.. i look forward to seeing you both... so itll be a big... week.. I need to get over this cough...:)

Three Days Off

I have three days off...
And im gonna try to buy the house next door.. i dont know how lucky ill be.. so everyone cross their fingers and think of me..
Deep Purple is coming.. Dad is thinking about going.. i shoudl check out ticket prices....
:) Jo has a bed in my house.. maybe i should have a Jowarming party if Pam is having a Trevwarming party.....:)
i think that is all... no replies to my advertisment yet... so ill just have to keep my fingers crossed

Wanted

Looking for a new BOY>>>>>
Must....
be highly energetic.... ( preferably with a habit of speed or rock at least on weekends)
smoke dope and drink copious amounts of alcohol...
Go out and party hard at every available opportunity
Have few friends ( or at least not friends i will meet)
Likes to have heaps of sex
Must appear very calm and collected on the surface but be emotional and irrational underneath
Must like the outdoors and animals or at least talk as tho they do
Must keep secrets from me about the drugs they use and where they have been.
Must stay in close contact with ex girlfriends who act as tho they want them still
Live in Never Never land where you never have to grow up and be responsible or mature but only worry about partying and what feels good...
Initially answer all messages but after a couple of weeks wait large amounts of time to answer messages or phonecalls..
Have a 50% chance of remembering whatever we have organised to do

All applicants please leave a message with your contacts and i will get back to you asap....

Hill Top Hoods

All i wanna say is Hilltop rocked... i loved it.. I could live in that moment forever!!!!!
My pink socks post got deleted.. and i dont know how or where?..... I'm feeling better now... i had a cry this morning.. and im not sure what over... and also i talked to Sal.. which always makes me feel better but she commented that she had never approved of my choice in men over the last couple of weeks.. and she is the only person in my life that gets gossip about that man... so im feeling that maybe i wasnt the arse hole.. maybe it was the other party involved...

BB2006 is gonna rock.. i think im in love...:)

Being lucky

well im off to Hilltop tonight.. it is funny what i get excited about.. i hope it is as good as i remember... cause im damn tired and could do with a wake up call...:)

I've been considering today that i am lucky... two things that come to mind on that note. I remember saying to Jimmy.. "Ohh im so lucky.. blah blah happened.. "and he said "that is something i consider you" and i said "what lucky" and he said " yeah".... and tom has a friend i remember him telling me about that always said to him..." stay lucky" and I think wow that is a pretty top thing to say to someone... altho i dont imagine id pull it off with the same charisma that tom described it with... anyways i am lucky i guess... i have a job which i truly enjoy and am truly passionate about.. i am buying my own house... i have the most awesome family... but if i was to really say what i think im lucky in.. is that i have some of the most amazing friends... yeah they piss me off sometimes.. im sure i drive some of you crazy sometimes.. but i really trully have friends that move the earth for me and are really awesome... so really that is what i was thinking...

In other news.. Made For You is an awesome concept and i hope my store pulls it off well.. i think we will...
And i have a plan for paying off my debt quicker.. yeah cant wait...
i think that is all i wanted to say today

Sarahs slow computer...

well sarahs computer is slow.... so i wont be on here long...
spent all day in bed.... which has my throat not swelling which is an improvement on yesterday... like yay i can breathe.... im still feeling pretty dodge tho... hope im better soon cause i feel like shit... and i got a managers meeting in like 2hrs.... ive slept for like over 15hrs and still feel like sleep is the answer... gotta love the cold and flew tablets....

By the way Bhodi... they snap freeze our 100% beef patties... and yes they are 100% .. even head office says so.... ill keep investigating....

ANyways i also want to thank Chris for helping me with my apamphlet round and mum for helping me fold... .i love you all... lol.. damn sooky ang.....

Im sick

well ithink that just about covers it.. im sick.. not well.. and it sucks.. and ive gone all sooky.... :):) Im sure ill have more stories before im better.. but i do wanna say... anyone wanna buy me a ticket to Hill Top Hoods...lol.. cause id LOVE to go:( missed Pendulum on sun night.. Jen was gonna take me... Hope she had a blast but im jealous.....

Im off to bed:)

Easter SUn

SO.. first of all.. im tired and sick.. and ive got a round to do... my throat is really sore.. and secoundly.. now im drunk.. couldnt feel better.... lol

I just wanted to say something about my brother.. on fri night i went and saw him after close... and what i wanted to say was... he is a damn miracle,... i know my brother shares my morales... even if my sis' dont ( which recent events dictate that they dont) i know my brother thinks certain things arent ok as well... so im not sure what we got that they missed out on but im proud to say my brother despite the past is one top bloke... and im proud to say he is my bro... im proud of my family never the less... but im definately prouder of my bro after that night.. and i understand a lot more what happened when i left....

Secoundly... Gary.. you really are a top friend.. the blues and roots concert you were damn near perfect.. I couldna asked for a better friend that day... too all of you.. (bar Jimmy) i have no complaints about you guys that involves the day.. yOU boys all put up witha lot from me.. andj Gary you especially im proud honored and stoked to have you as a friend.... every time i think of it i cant believe how lucky i am... and count you as a miracle in my life... not many friends have seen me that upset and i thank you for your patience and understanding.... and makeing sure i got home ok... i love you all

so i got another 4 days of working.. and i hope i get better cause im feeling pretty sick... Im really not feeling like walking for a couple of hrs... i will write before the end of the long weekend

Easter Sat

On all accounts life is ok... it is a stunning day... and i wish i was in Dwellingup.. or somewhere near the water.. even the beach would do right now... im feeling lke i need to chill.. which is probably a tell tale sign i need to chill...and tomorrow ive got the day with my family...

Im a little worried about me.. cause i have this huge urge to get completely written off... and im not taking opportunities that i know i would enjoy... or that would possibly help me get over the Jimmy thing... how come i had to meet someone i like so much.. and how come right now.. logic isnt prevailing.. logically im free im single.. and i should be enjoying.. DAMMN IT... but when it comes to the crunch.. it is like my brain goes into freeze, and hte thing that kills me is im sure he dont feel anywhere near the same way... damn being a girl.. damn this feeling.. damn the whole lot.. and im sure if i forced the logic.. id feel worse.. maybe im just emotional cause im not well... i hope so.. i hope this wears off soon... cause i really trully dont want to deal with it.. anyways...

Ill write tomorrow.. gotta scoot to work...

Thursday

Well today is thursday.. and ive been working like a slave for 4 days now.. and i got a six day week.. gotta love that... HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL....

Last night i had another Mc Function... the fun of them is wearing off... and then i went to see Lance...
I love seeing LAnce.. he is a pleasure to hang out with... and one of the only pple on the planet when i say stuff im sure he knows what i mean... I damn well wish he lived closer than America... but what do you do hey... why arent there guys like that in perth.??? CAn someone tell me?? and if there are WHERE ARE THEY?

Tues night i hung out with Chris... all i can say is i cause that boy pain.. and i dont like that.. he is a good friend...

And Monday.. well I went to Landmark.. and it was awesome... i loved it... im glad to be back...

so im looking forward .. lol.. to a psycho busy weekend.... and seeing my family...

Blues and Roots Concert

Well all i can say about this is i got the blues.. and it was one fucked concert... well how is that.. the music was good... Gary and Graeme and Marco were good company... but well it will now be known as the last time i saw Jimmy.. and that my friends... sucks.... !!!!!

I dont know whether to be honored or upset but three of my guy friends are like.. well Ang I like you ... you should be with me.... and i cant help altho honored be a little like.. give me time to grieve... i liked this guy more than ive liked someone in yonks... lol.. i used the word yonks.. haha
And im not used to pple i give my heart to never wanting to see me again.. arrhhhh... oh well.. so the theme of last night was... " I dont Understand"... and you know what.. i still dont.. but i dont need too.. he is one amazing guy... and i wish him all the best... and i cant hold any bad feeling cause im so glad I got the time i did. :)
"If it makes a good story... then it's all worth while..." Cat Empire...

In other news... well there aint much really... McDonalds sprung a leak... in the roof and rained ... and i had the weekend off... so i missed the stress... .. and ive been loving my job again... and i got put my bum up haha and work off my debt... so i can go away again:) so that is what im concentrating on... not being heartbroken... cause you know what.. i always knew he was leaving...

Friendship

First of all Renee has moved out. Secoundly anges id has never been sent out... thirdly an alarm kept ang up all night and she aint happy.... and i have to write something horrible about Jen... well... im not sure what to say... JEn ... YOU HAVE A NOSE>>>!!!PJIOAJFIOIO!!!

Im having a little dilema... and ive really been thinking...
so well all know that im quick to fall in love with pple... and that i love people... and we also know that when i give my heart.. which i do quite regularly i do so fully and without constraint.... so all you who know me well also know that when you do damage with me it is hard to repair.... like there is a certain amoutn you can get away with but after that bam... i have problems forgiving... and if you know me well you would know it specifically relates to family... and if you never say your sorry then i will likely never forgive you... well i know this all about me and still seem to have no control over it.... it is like when i give my heart i know ive done it but never did it consciously well the same goes with this... there is a certain amount of respect you give a friend... when you love a person you respect them... their family... their friends and their property. People who are thier friends are yours... even if ya dont like them... Im not sure... i dont know when others ideals got screwed but i know im feeeling pain from mine... and i know i shoudl let it go.. but then how do you forgive when the other persona aint sorry

Who I am is the possibility that ALL people are loved and known...
The values that are at the heart ofg who i am.. are...
Love
Loyalty
Spontaneity
Honesty..

this is who i am.. this is what you can count on...
hmmmm oh well.. enough analyzing

Last night is spent the night with Jimmy... :) only a week left. damn it..:)

Fire

So ive been home for what.// 4 days now... im tired... i got a croaky throat... ive averaged about 5 - 6 hrs sleep a night... i Havent eaten by myself once... and ive worked open every day... Ive seen Dan, Sal, and JO and I went to Landmark and assisted... Last night i went to the south foreshore and watched people dance with fire and swords and glow balls with a Dj there for ages... was pretty cool. Altho the company i had that i didnt know was wanting... maybe a couple of brain cells.... but all in all was interesting..

Home and Main Break

Pendulum went off... and i was dancing like a mad person.... Ben Lee got hit with a bottle...which really sucks... and spending time with Jimmy was... as Jimmy would put it... "sweet". i got a lot more to say but i really do not have the energy to be writing this.. im still recovering from a night of partying... All i want to say he is still worth not sleeping for...
well im off to sleep... will update it tomorrow